When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
