is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
