I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize