Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
