So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
