I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
