what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
