3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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