it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
