Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
