the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
