she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
