Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
