this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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