I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
