He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
