This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
