Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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