i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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