He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
