I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
