yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
