I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
