Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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