the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
