Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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