another moral hangover. fuck.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
