i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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