dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
