Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
