the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
