I have demons in me.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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