i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
