Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
