I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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