He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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