Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
