Me too!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
