Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
