I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
