Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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