Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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