pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
