No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
