Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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