An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
