A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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