I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
