kristin has been a bad kristin
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
