it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
only you would photoshop your dick
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
