oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
