New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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