Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
