im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
