Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
