guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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