I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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