i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
