Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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