we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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