i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
