do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
