it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
