you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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