I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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