Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
