My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
